Helen Mirren gives up cocaine, and reason

#34. Think that Oscar-winning Dame Helen Mirren just can’t seem to get enough of being in the papers. A few weeks ago she hit headlines by walking out of the sea in a bikini and looking damn good in it. On Monday The Guardian was reporting that the 63-year-old actress had given up cocaine –

in the 1980s. Despite the time warp it made pg 11 as the lead story.

Turns out the dame decided to forgo “the line of beauty” (a reference from Alan Hollinghurst’s eponymous Booker-winning novel) after finding out that Klaus Barbie, a nazi war criminal known as The Butcher of Lyon, had been making money off selling the drug while hiding out in South America in the early 80’s.

In an interview with GQ the new thinking man’s sex symbol said: “I read that in the paper and all the cards fell into place and I saw how my little sniff of cocaine at a party had an absolute direct route to this f****** horrible man in South America”.

While I applaud ms. Mirren’s moral stand, I am not sure it’s going to wash with Amy Winehouse, whose white-crusted nostrils are regularly displayed in full colour in the British tabloids. And judging from the tone of The Guardian piece by Matthew Taylor, jaywalking seems to be more frowned upon than snorting up the coffee table. The article starts by saying that “There are many reasons to give up cocaine” and lists the first one as being “the price”.

As for ms Mirren, she then went on to voice some really questionable views on “date rape” ensuring headlines for the rest of the week, telling GQ it has happened to her a “couple of times”, adding “I don’t think she can have that man into court under those circumstances. I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men-women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them.”

And then the clincher —

The dame also told GQ that “she has always been held back by her looks”.

“I have always had big tits and blonde hair. That… can be a terrible disadvantage”. Among who, I wondered. The Blind?

Poor dear, I thought. Cocaine is the least of her problems. Someone needs to get her off whatever else she is smoking.

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